M A R Y A M

Union of Two Souls

Posted on: Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Getting married and accepting a completely new and strange house as a Home, isnt a easy and simple thing to do. Men for some reason may never understand its complexities and sacrifices for It isnt easy for any girl to leave her parents and her home and live among strangers, about whom she seldom has any ideas and knowledge.

A girl is often referred as ‘Paraya Dhan’ which means ‘A Treasure which doesnt belongs to her parents’. Wonder why the society has such a rule, Just because she is a girl and not a boy ? As soon as she reaches her mature age, everyone arounds start talking about her marriage, Doesnt matter whether she wants to get married right now or not. Once married, she is then talked to start a family as soon as she can. I mean, Is she ever allowed to think or decide on her own any time of her life ? Before marrige, Like every good child, she is expected to listen and oblige to what her parents say and when she is married, She is then supposed to listen to her Husband, and her In-laws. When is she allowed or given the freedom to live the way she wants ?

No girl in the whole universe is in a marriage without sacrificing one thing or the other, Likewise May I know How many such men exist ? None, or very rare I must say. At the end of the day We expect that atleast our efforts and sacrifices are appreciated and are given a happy and satisfied life, Which unfortunately is a privilage which isnt enjoyed by many.The Wedding Day is the most Beautiful and best day in a girls life, maybe its the same with men too. But that can be the ugliest and worst day of someone’s life too. Hence, Be sure about whom you wanna get married to – Will he/she be able to love you even in your bad times ? Will he/she fight for you, support you ?

When my parents were talking about my marriage with Z, I was more than scared. I always used to ask my parents, What if something doesnt work well ? My parents were the ones who always assured me that they know what they are doing and will be in my best interest. I so badly wanted to trust them and rely on their soothing words. I wonder how does a parent know whats best for his/her child, which always surprised me. As my marriage wasnt a Love mariage, I closed my eyes and accepted my parents decision on their constant reminder that ‘Its best for you, We know whats good for you, For we love you’. Today after 2+ years of my mariage alhamdulilah with Him, I so proudly say that My parents were indeed true.

I wont be saying that my marriage comes without any problems, I must be lying to say that. Every rose has thorns ,the same way every marriage has troubles, The way you handle it and manage it, strengthens your relation and bond. 

Everyone out here, Listen to what you parents say for I have many times seen myself, They are always right and know whats good and best for us. I firmly believe that Since Allah cannot be there physically with every child, He made parents.
A girls life is not easy, but it isnt dificult too if you have love and care in your relation. Isnt it ???

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12 Responses to "Union of Two Souls"

sooooooooooo true maryoomy 🙂

As for me, I’d care to know my 12 year old brother’s opinion as well as my 80+ year aold grandma..

The problem in today’s world when it comes to any commitments is the materialistic sense that’s growing on everyone.. People are far from “compassion”, which makes everything harder & worse than it could be..

If only we could restart our hearts & connect back to our native emotions, we’d realise what we’re missing..

Love is beautiful, here is something nice someone wrote:

“working with love of work is the best

with faith that this is what i wanna spend my life doing

it is marriage

the ultimate happiness as my grandmother’s mother used to tell me, is when you are EAGER to do the things you have to do.. eager to wake up and see your wife in the morning, eager to get dressed and go to the job u love to do,, eager to come home to the family that you so much love.. eager to go out in the afternoon to see the friends and folks that love you and you love back..

eager to Please Allah the Almighty

that is a small light placed in the hearts that ask for it..

we all just gonna have to be creative how to ask for it, eh? ;)”

Truly having faith in Allah while doing your best, would bring us nothing but the best FOR US..

thanks for sharing your heart out here maryoomy ❤

*mwah*

May Allah grant you guys the real sakeea that can never be bought or sold.. Amen 🙂

Well., i guess each n everything u wrote is right, but one should know how to handle the situation and that comes only with exposure and experience and ya to have your parents and family around , makes things much easier.

What a marvelous thought (not to mention the timing 🙂) … I’m thinking about it for past many weeks.

Parents do know better; the age when gals usually get married is an age of painting limited colors on the canvas whereas parents have usually experienced all the ebbs and flows. But things can still go wrong. Misjudgments can happen where a stranger is concerned. I fear that 😐

Girls do have an inner management and conflict-resolution instincts, No?? Girls and boys, alike, should pray for their future too 🙂

Prayers and Hugs – stay happy !

God bless you girl! 🙂

In my family marriage should be a love marriage. As happened to me. Children choose their spouse by own, and later inform parents. 😀

May you live happily girl ever after 🙂

that is some good stuff to read through….and even though I have read through similar stuff many a times before…its always new when heard from yet another woman heheh…

all the best for the future as well…

Shahrzad I sense deja vu for that arrangement :p

Can’t really answer any of your questions Maryam. Ask me in a years time and I’ll be in a much better position to provide insight 🙂

I will say that I hope and pray that all happen for the best. 🙂

It was very good to know your thoughts and opinion on this pecular topic. I really appreciate that.

May Allah help everyone find a loving and caring spouse, as everyone in this entire world deserves their ‘Happily Every After’ . May Allah bless everyone with a happy and satisfied life. AMEEN.

Assalaamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

I don’t think our lives are too difficult. The important thing is to get the details hashed out before the marriage. For example, asking his opinions about certain situations that you may find yourself in. Asking what he feels his responsibilities are to you, yours to him, and his feelings on children, obligations, everything down to household chores.

Women should get to know the mother and father in law before marriage as well to see if they can get on together.

No woman should be forced to marry. That is wrong and not even considered a valid marriage in Islam. You have to have the woman’s permission. Parent’s who “force” women into marriage should fear Allah.

Alhamdullilah, I have been happily married for about 6 years now.

So very well written!! 🙂

Umm Yusuf … Believe me, It doesnt/cannot happen that way. No matter how much you wanna know them before you get married, you just cannot.
We think we now know them, but in reality we dont. Its sad, but true.
Inauzubilla … I dint say my parents forced me,Did i? But yeah, A girl shouldnt be forced into a marriage and neither should be a boy.

Mona …. Thank you … 🙂

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